My New housemate

He must works nights as I rarely see him, we’ve never spent a night together, just watching TV or anything like that, but he must have a set in his room, and a penchant for cheesy old horror films, because sometimes in the middle of the night I hear odd muffled shrieks and yells coming from his room.

I think he throws out meat or something in the bins at the front of the house, there’s always foxes sniffing and lurking around since he moved in, well at least I think they’re foxes, they’re quite large.

He can’t stand hawkers, especially religious ones, once he opened the door to a Mormon, screamed and slammed the door straight into the poor guys face. I know they’re annoying but it was a bit of an over reaction.

Sometimes when we’re both in during the day he always wants the curtains shut, I don’t mind too much but it would be nice to have a bit of daylight coming in sometimes.

I can’t place his accent, it’s sort of Eastern European I think, but with a dignified, educated twinge, makes me wonder what’s he’s doing living in Ringwood.

I think he’s using a fake name, post turns up addressed to a variety of odd names like ‘Rad Luca’ and ‘Ron Tufaes’, aways in dusty envelopes written with red ink in a frantic scrawl.

He never seems to eat, well, not with me around at least. All he has in the fridge are these homemade dark red ‘protein shakes’ as he calls them. The only time I ever saw him eat anything it was a red raw steak, he said the shakes were ‘unavailable’.

Despite his immaculate appearance he never seems to wash or touch water in any way. It means he never does the washing or anything like that, I don’t really mind as he never really makes any mess. maybe he’s got some sort of hygiene shyness complex or something.

He keeps the strangest company, a few men and women just like him have been round the house and they hang on to his every word. They all dress the same, like New Romantics crossed with Goths. They all speak in hushed tones and stop the instant I enter the room. About once a months a really hairy guy comes round and once this massive hulk of a guy turned up, he had to duck through all the door ways. He had this piercing through his neck and looked like he’d been in some serious fights, scars all over him.

I’m sure once or twice I’ve caught him in my room whilst I was asleep, but whenever I think its happened I can never quite remember the next day, everything is always a bit hazy.